Morgoth's Amazing Tortuous Maze O'Doom
by huntress-callisto
Summary: Morgoth throws undamaged characters and an ordinary girl into a maze with fanfiction versions of many of them. And Mary-Sues. And fangirls. Uh-oh...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own Meg, and any other random ideas that pop into my head

Disclaimer: I own Meg, and any other random ideas that pop into my head.

A/N: This is only an introduction. Inspired by All-Knowing Alien 2 and the maze in I won NEENER NEENER NEENER.

I know you must be thinking- Oh, lord. Another LOTR fanfiction about a girl shoved into another world. AKA major Mary-Sue. But trust me, I'm different.

Here, I'll start by telling you about me. I think that might start to help your fears.

My name is Meg. That's it. No prophecies, no long elvish babbling. Just Meg.

I read LOTR a while ago, but didn't obsess. Frankly, the history is better. I am also a plant geek.

I was really pretty normal. I got mostly Bs in my classes, except for an A in biology. I hung out with my friends. My parents were sometimes annoying, but usually just left me alone.

I'm average height and sturdy. Not curvy, not 'slim and muscular' but sturdy. I do dance- none of that trendy rubbish. I do classical ballet, and have the calluses to prove it.

Frankly, I was happy at home. I didn't have too many responsibilities, and had enough free time to do what I wanted.

And all of this changed when Morgoth decided he wanted to torture a normal girl by putting her in a maze with the fanfiction versions of Tolkein's characters. God help me now….

Please R&R!


	2. Orcs and geeky musings

Disclaimer: Anything that sounds remotely familiar is not mine

Disclaimer: Anything that sounds remotely familiar is not mine.

This is how it began. I was happily snoozing. I had finished finals the week before, and was enjoying not having to wake up at an ungodly hour to go to school.

Then I felt this funny tug, and all of a sudden I found myself in a white stone tunnel. It wasn't marble, but it wasn't a sedimentary either. I tried to scratch it with my fingernail, but it didn't work so it wasn't calcite.

A loud thump interrupted my geeky musings. A sturdy metal door had been closed behind me. I went up to it and peered between the bars. A pair of nasty looking yellow eyes peered back.

I shuddered involuntarily and decided it was WAAAAAAAY too early in the morning to have a staring contest with what looked creepily like an orc. Really creepily….

Especially when it stuck a filthy spear through the bars and threatened me with it, muttering in something that sounded vaguely like Gaelic.

OK. Ways in which this morning is weird:

I was pulled out of bed before noon

I was in a tunnel

I couldn't figure out what the tunnel was made of, and I didn't have any of my geeky guides with me

In fact, I was still wearing my NASA t-shirt and shorts that I slept in

I was a couple feet away from an orc

And whoever had taken me here hadn't supplied me with a small, yellow fish. Drat.

It became weirder when the orc rolled it's eyes (I do not recommend ever seeing this. Eyes the size of lemons are NOT meant to be rolled) and handed me a small, yellow fish.

Note to self: Orcs are not supposed to know anything about the Hitchhiker's Guide.

Quoting Douglas Adams under my breath, I stuck the fish in my ear. Unfortuantely, I hadn't finished mumbling at this point and the orc (who I christened Gothy because I'm weird and Gothmog was too long) understood me.

"Arg, matey, why would I be a-saying 'I just got over an unhappy love affair and I don't see why anybody else should have a good time'?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

I didn't stop until I was a good distance away. Pirate orcs are just WRONG.

Little did I know it was just going to get worse.


	3. Fanfic twins

Disclaimer: I own Meg, any Sues, and anything else you've never heard of

Disclaimer: I own Meg, any Sues, and anything else you've never heard of.

Ok, so by this time I was a little concerned. I was in some strange place where orcs talk like pirates and know about babel fish. I wasn't in LOTR, I wasn't in Hitchhiker's Guide… the only option was by far the scariest—I was in a fanfiction.

Which meant I might be a Mary-Sue.

This is one of the few times where I wished I was the kind of person who carried a mirror with them constantly.

Except keeping a mirror in my pajamas would be a little creepy.

I was so concentrated on the fact that I might be a mind-less soul killingly beautiful robot that I didn't look where I was going, and I bumped into someone. I backed up fast and realized what I had hit. There were two elves in front of me. Judging by the fact that they looked exactly the same I was pretty sure they were the Sons of Elrond.

And they were shirtless.

OK…. I did NOT need to see that. I had a boyfriend at home, and I was very happy with him. He wasn't handsome, exactly, the same way I wasn't pretty, but he was smart, funny and witty. He made me laugh.

And so this was just a little scary.

They inched towards me and I backed up apprehensively.

"Hey, babe, why don't you come to the bathhouses with us? We could have some fun."

This was even scarier than that orc. Especially when they got close enough that I could see the glazed look in their eyes. And the closeness was as much of a scary factor as the glazed eyes.

"If you are implying what I think you are implying then HELL no. If you were sane that would mean we were married and I do NOT what to be married to you. Also, I have a boyfriend I am perfectly happy with."

I took off at that point. I was pretty sure that the Sons of Elrond, as peredhil, could catch me easily. I think two things saved me. One was that the ceiling was becoming lower and lower. I'm not exactly a midget, but the twins must have been 6 foot 2. That's a lot taller than me.

Also the fact that at that point a red haired woman with outsized purple eyes and….protuberances came up behind them and kissed them both. At once. Don't ask.


End file.
